Battling Negative Self-Talk by Drowning it out with a Singing Groundhog - When I Grow Up

Battling Negative Self-Talk by Drowning it out with a Singing Groundhog - When I Grow Up Hey, there! My names Lesley and I, well I still play with stuffed animals. I also write musicals, and I’m going to tell you a little story about how these two things mixed this winter and helped me learn a very important lesson about the importance of pushing through negative self-talk. On February 2nd, I awoke with a song in my head about Groundhog Day. I cant really explain it, but I knew I had to write that song, and I had to record it and make a video of it. And Mr. Groundhog had to sing it (you’ll meet him in a minute). Up until this year, I had not been public about this ‘hobby’. I was convinced that something was wrong with me for spending more time than I’d care to admit with a puppet on one hand and a video camera in the other for my own entertainment at age 27. I mean sure, Jim Henson had to start somewhere. But little old me? I must just be weird, or crazy or something. Still, that song wouldn’t leave me alone, so I spent the whole day working on it. By about 9pm I had a very rough finished project with 3 hours left until it’d no longer be Groundhog Day. And that’s when I got very, very scared. I just recently watched an incredibly inspiring commencement speech by Neil Gaiman where he says, “the moment you that feel that just possibly you’re walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself, that’s the moment you may be starting to get it right.” Let’s just say I felt like I was in the middle of Times Square in my birthday suit. With puppets on my hands. This was more than just sharing something I was working on. This was showing a part of myself to the world that until then only my close friends and family knew about. I knew I had to share it. I really wanted tobut it was too amateurish. If only I’d had more time. What would people who bullied me in middle school think? (seriously, Lesley?!) And then my sweet, sensible husband pried apart my wringing hands and was like Les. You put in all this effort. Its hilarious because its amateurish. Nobody cares that you can see the kleenex box in the background, honest. You need to share this. That little pep talk gave me the final push I needed. And as I shared it, wincing and attempting to calm my nervous chest rash, something wonderful unfolded: one by one, people started sharing it with their friends, and then their friends, and then theirs. And not one person sent me hate mail being like “omg I could see your sleeve in that one shot for 2 seconds”. My fears were totally out of proportion because I was facing vulnerability. Negative thoughts love those moments because that’s when you’re the most susceptible to anything that can help reassure you that you’d better stay somewhere safe and not go for it; to not do what only you can do; to not honor your truest self and share that with others in order to make the world a better place, because that all involves risk, and change. Change is scary, and negativity is fueled by your fear. Finding some way to push through at that peak moment of maybe-I-can’t-do-this is crucial. If I hadn’t had someone to shake me out of my negativity stupor I never would have had the chance to see what happiness could spread as a result. In addition to making a lot of people (and me!) happy, it also showed me some really important things: Perfection is overrated. Often times, done is its own form of perfect. Professional training comes in all shapes and sizes, even if it just feels like play to you. It is so worth it to push through with sharing something that reflects the true essence of you even if (and especially if) you feel naked. Youre never too old to play with stuffed animals. When have you been brave and pushed through with something you felt self-conscious about? What was the outcome? Have you had moments where you had to prioritize done over perfect and had it work in your favor? I’d love to know! And you didnt think Id post all this without sharing the video with you, did ya? Without further ado, here it is! I hope it brings you a smile! Lesley DeSantis is a bit of a Renaissance woman, making her way in the world in the arts. In addition to being the voice and hand(s) behind a singing groundhog, she paints guinea pigs in period costume, writes musicals, blogs, and even walks the occasional runway (ooh la la!). Want to come along for the ride? Follow her adventures on twitter and keep an eye out for a children’s book or two in the not-too-distant future!